After last night, I am taking a short break from writing and social media.
For those that have encouraged my writing and discussions in the past, I want to say thank you. I don’t know if I can fully express how much that means to me. When I say it keeps me going, that is not an exaggeration. I have spent my life with the one goal of making a difference in the lives of others, be that by providing solidarity or instilling a renewed passion for change. Hearing that I am accomplishing my goal provides me with a sense of peace and purpose – which is why I will continue writing, but I need a moment.
As polls trickled in, I saw so many of my friends on Facebook calling for strength and resiliency. I read many “We must trudge on” posts which lifted my heart at their determination.
But even with that determination, I wept and I haven’t stopped. I didn’t know it possible to cry for eight hours straight, but I have found it possible today. I will find the strength I have called on in the past, but for now I want to grieve. I need to grieve.
Because for all my relative privilege, I am still scared. I look to the newly elect and I see a man who secured a majority of the electoral college despite a laundry list of reprehensible actions. I hear him brag about committing sexual assault and I remember how causally I was raped. I hear how he would continue a trend of racial profiling and militant policing and I remember all the racism and discrimination my friends face on a daily basis. I hear his plans for deportation and a wall and I remember how my best friend, a man who is family, could be affected. But moreover, I think of everyone who stands to lose something. They don’t need to be close to me. I don’t need to know them. They are people and deserve to be treated with respect and dignity that is incapable of coming from our new administration. And yes, for that, I cry.
In moments of stress, we are quick to call for tearless and fearless strength. And while that is admirable, so is being able to express your emotions. So for those who need to grieve, let them grieve; and for those who are ready to keep moving forward, do so with all the vigor you desire. Above all else, remember we are stronger together.
I’ll be in touch soon,